Tile Shopping Fight

‘Ooh, look at these ones!’ Jane grabbed my hand and dragged me across the shop. I managed to dodge all the obstacles in my path – I think one of them was a kid? – without looking up from my phone. Finally, we came to a stop, and I looked up, bored.

‘What do you think?’ she asked me.

‘About what?’

‘The tiles,’ she frowned, pointing at the huge wall of samples in front of me.

‘Hmm,’ I nodded. ‘Not a bad idea. Yeah, I’m down for tiles in the bathroom.’

‘Ugh,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘You’re no help.’

‘In my defence, you knew that before you dragged me here.’

She hit me in the shoulder and – as I winced in pain ­– snatched my phone out of my hand.

‘Hey!’ I protested, reaching for it. She slipped it in her purse and zipped it shut.

‘You get that back when you’re done helping me.’

‘I’m not a child!’

‘Prove it!’ she glared. ‘Contribute with some bathroom tiles ideas!

I frowned at her, and turned my attention back to the tile wall. ‘That one,’ I pointed.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she scoffed. ‘Actually put some thought into it.’

‘That one!’ I frowned, crossing my arms. ‘The softer undertones will bring warmth to the bathroom at night when it’s just got that yellow lamp or candlelight, while the white border will cool the tone of the aesthetic when we get that harsh eastern sunlight during summer.’

She blinked at me, slightly stunned. I held my hand out.


Slowly, she unzipped her purse and handed it back to me.

‘Wow,’ she whispered. ‘That was incredible. Maybe you should look into becoming some sort of… bathroom and laundry renovations expert. Melbourne residents are getting their bathrooms renovated in droves these days.

‘It’s just tiles, Jane,’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Hardly rocket science.’

‘Right,’ she nodded slowly. ‘What do you need your phone for so badly, anyway?’

‘Never you mind.’



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