Not as Advertised

You know when you look at something online, and then it either arrives in the mail or you go to see it, and…it’s in no way the same? I’m feeling that pain pretty hard right now. All I wanted was a nice little one bedroom apartment, and to be fair, it was almost too good to be true. The upper end of my budget, but in a great location with the place already furnished? Sure, I could accept all that. I was pretty sure the part about the live-in butler was a joke, but the parking space, the balcony view, the free gardener and cleaner…I shouldn’t have let it go to my head.

I got to the place, and the garden was NOTHING like the pictures. The agent said that I’d be furnished with packets of hyacinth bulbs, as a courtesy of things not being quite how I expected. Not how I expected? The place was a dump! It was like someone had attacked the back garden with a pneumatic drill, and there wasn’t a single living thing in sight. Apparently they had a storm (unlikely) and the gardener no longer worked for the company, hence why I was being left to grow my own hyacinths. And that’s wonderful, but I called to see the place about half-an-hour after it was posted and I’m seeing it two days later. That’s not quite enough time for the lush, tropical paradise in the pictures to turn into the aftermath of a nuclear testing site. But sure, thanks for the bulbs, that’ll do plenty.

The inside is no picnic, either. Apparently a building was built in front of the balcony (in two days), the furnishings are taking a while to arrive and oh, I’m sharing a kitchen with someone else in the block! No indication of any of this on the website. So now I’m fuming, and there’s no way I’m interested any more. They’ve tried to call and I’m gleefully ignoring them. Oh, and these mixed hyacinth bulbs are all mine. That’s the payment for the lies. They will take me seriously from now on.


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