Buying Reality TV

‘I honestly thought this would be easier,’ I shook my head. ‘I can’t believe how difficult it’s been.’

‘You thought this would be easy?’ my wife frowned.

‘Yeah,’ I nodded, glumly.

‘You thought finding our dream home, in this market,’ she went on, confused, ‘would be easy?’

‘It looks it on all of those reality TV shows,’ I mumbled.

‘That’s because they’re all staged,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘Everyone knows TV shows use the best buyers advocate around. Malvern doesn’t have anything really like that.’

‘Doesn’t it?’ I frowned. ‘Have we checked?’

‘Have we checked what?’

‘Does Malvern have anyone who could be our buyer’s advocate?’

‘Why would we need a buyer’s advocate anyway?’ she shrugged. ‘We can do it ourselves.’

‘Can we, though?’

‘We’ve been doing fine so far.’

‘No,’ I laughed. ‘We’ve been striking out hard, so far.’

‘I just don’t think we can afford it,’ she sighed. ‘It’s gonna be tight enough as is just getting a deposit with this market.’

‘Might be worth looking into it at least,’ I mused, tapping my finger on the table absentmindedly. ‘Just think – we could be getting the full reality TV treatment!’

She laughed and looked at me with a smile.

‘I wouldn’t know what to do with the full reality TV treatment.’

‘Oh, I would,’ I nodded. ‘Ridiculous spray tan first, obviously.’


‘Then I start an ill-advised pop career based on no talent.’

‘None whatsoever.’

‘Then fade into obscurity until I’m invited to be a judge on a talent show,’ I nodded.

‘Maybe you could even host a reality TV home buying show,’ my wife pointed out. ‘You could work with a buyers agent servicing the Kew area, making people’s dreams come—’

‘If you say “dreams come Kew”, I may have to divorce you,’ I jokingly warned her.

‘I don’t know where you got the idea from,’ she smirked, lifting her mug up to her face.


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